Oh! if only I could write!

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My favourite way to relax in the water is to float on my back to drown out the sounds and block the views of other people and just stare at the clouds’ constantly changing and floating. However, my parents recently taught me another (easy) way to relax upon the water…stand-up paddle boarding (SUP). During my outings in the water, my thoughts wandered to how SUP explains a bit about my life.

When my parents first taught me, they warned me not to go too far into the ocean. Despite this, I took the risk and did the opposite.

Unlike surfing, it is relatively easy to acquire balance among small currents, but my restlessness caused me to diverge towards the waves in order to challenge my balance.

Yet, I am not fearless so if I do not like the way I am going or the current looks scary ahead, I learned how to turn myself onto another path.

Turning and working through various currents can make falling inevitable, but getting back up to regain that balance is the best option to take. And sometimes I do not fall because regardless of such obstacles, I know when to kneel on the paddle board and lay low for awhile in order to regain my composure.

When the currents look too “precarious” or I stray too far from my parents, they wave from shore to come back. When I do finally return to my parents (as I always do), rather than angry for not heeding their warnings, my parents congratulate me and express their awe on what I can accomplish.

And so during these days of SUP, I realized how blessed I am to have parents who give me the guidance along with the freedom to make my own choices…and always watching and waiting for me at the shore.

Orlando_film_posterThe title of this blog post is a quote from the main character of a book bearing his/her name Orlando, by Virginia Woolf. She exclaims the quote while basking in the Nature and continuing her manuscript “The Oak Tree” during her gypsy life. Orlando is a mixture of fantasy, history, humor, and literature. Basically, Orlando started off as a man who lived a passionate love affair with a Russian lady and writes a lengthy poem, “The Oak Tree”. For no apparent reason, Orlando undergoes into a metamorphosis into a woman and marries a sailor. Woolf placed many ironies in this book and even mentions the process of writing the novel when she wrote the following:

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Other favorite quotes from Orlando:

  • No passion is stronger in the breast of man than the desire to make others believe as he believes. Nothing so cuts at the root of his happiness and fills him with rage as the sense that another rates low what he prizes high.
  • This mysterious composition which we call society, is nothing absolutely good or bad in itself, but has a spirit in it, volatile but potent, which either makes you drunk when you think it, as Orlando thought it, delightful, or gives you a headache when you think it, as Orlando thought it, repulsive.

As a roman à clé, it must have been a delight for Woolf’s acquaintances to determine which characters correspond to themselves. But to do not worry, the current reader can enjoy Woolf’s masterpiece of imagination without having to know them.

And since this discussion includes Woolf, I would like to share a letter she wrote to her husband before committing suicide (lettersofnote.com)

Tuesday.
Dearest,

I feel certain that I am going mad again. I feel we can’t go through another of those terrible times. And I shan’t recover this time. I begin to hear voices, and I can’t concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do. You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I don’t think two people could have been happier till this terrible disease came. I can’t fight any longer. I know that I am spoiling your life, that without me you could work. And you will I know. You see I can’t even write this properly. I can’t read. What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good. I want to say that — everybody knows it. If anybody could have saved me it would have been you. Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness. I can’t go on spoiling your life any longer.

I don’t think two people could have been happier than we have been.

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