The insanity of love
How often do you feel disconnected?
Do you ever feel as if you do not belong?
In a previous post, I wrote about having introverted tendencies. I suppose separating oneself from others can develop a person into an independent entity, which is necessary to survive once no longer part of our mother’s womb. But just as we are realizing how unique we are from another person, we should not lose sight of what common characteristics we share with other people. Moreover, it is okay to need someone. You are not worth anything less if you do so.
Maybe it is explained better when Einstein wrote: When we survey our lives and endeavors we soon observe that almost the whole of our actions and desires are bound up with the existence of other human beings. We see that our whole nature resembles that of the social animals. We eat food that others have grown, wear clothes that others have made, live in houses that others have built. The greater part of our knowledge and beliefs has been communicated to us by other people through the medium of a language which others have created…The individual is what he is and has the significance that he has not so much in virtue of his individuality, but rather as a member of a great human society, which directs his material and spiritual existence from the cradle to the grave.
Rumi suggests to melt ourselves away in order to become part of a union — with people, the earth, and everything else that exists with us — in order to dissipate our individual suffering. Nevertheless, Rumi also encourages us to befriend ourselves.
Sometimes we can also isolate ourselves in our problems and stresses in life. The story of any person’s life I guess:
No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them in order that the reader may see what they are made of. — Kurt Vonnegut on writing.
I felt myself becoming disconnected, so a 4-day holiday in Portugal (Lisboa and Sintra) was very welcomed in order to reunite with some of the loves in my life. It was my first time in the country and Lisboa reminded me of Lausanne, Switzerland and San Francisco, California, USA –namely the public transportation, cultural offers, its proximity to a large body of water, and of course the hills. There was even a street in Lisboa that reminded me of a night walk I like to do when visiting San Francisco. Starting at the Orpheum theatre and heading to the direction of the Piers, the long walk provides encounters with intermittent trash on the ground and some unusual characters loitering about. In another post I will write about the sins of Sintra and Lisboa — because of all the fabulous pastries to satisfy my ravenous sweet tooth. It makes sense that a country known for making Port would be experts at producing desserts.
I hope you enjoy the interspersed travel photos as you read excerpts from a book I just finished reading called “Insane With Love”, which is filled with rubais written by Rumi. Rubais can be thought of as a Persian form of haiku because short phrases represent greater meanings. Rumi was born more than 800 years ago and composed greater than 1,700 rubais. Let his ancient words inspire you today.
you are a volume in the divine book
a mirror to the power that created the universe
whatever you want, ask it of yourself
whatever you’re looking for can only be found
inside of you
you can’t untie this knot by listening to
fairy tales
you have to do something inside yourself
the smallest fountain inside of you
is better than a raging river outside
o my choice beauty
you’ve gone
but your love remains in my heart
your image in my eye
o guide on my winding road
I keep turning round and round in the hopes of
finding you
the secrets of the mind’s attainment
can only be found in madness
whoever has become insane with love
becomes the wisest one of us all
whoever gets familiar with the mysteries of
the heart
becomes a complete stranger to himself
I went to see my doctor:
“o doctor,” I said
“tell me the truth
what cure is there for a person like me who has
fallen hopelessly in love?”
he thought for a moment
and then advised me:
“annihilate yourself
and give up everything that exists”
dervishes should never be vain
conceit weighs as a heavy burden in their hearts
poverty and simplicity
are essential on the way to the beloved
pomp and splendor
are just thorns on that path
o one who is so alive with the soul of this world
shame on you?
why are you being like that?
don’t avoid love out of fear that you may die
die into love so that you may stay alive
what use is there for advice
now that I’ve fallen into your love?
“tie his feet down” they say about me
but it’s my heart that’s gone crazy
what’s the use of tying my feet?
joy doesn’t come because of sorrow
yet nothing but the pangs I feel for you in my heart
could ever cure me of my troubles
I was thinking to say this when we met
but when I finally saw you
I couldn’t even breathe
be a falcon in your effort
be a tiger in your strength
be an expert in hunting
be brave in war
don’t hang around with the peacock and
the nightingale
one’s conceited
the other talks too much
I’m so tired of this material world
with all its temporary things
it’s time to see the real beauty
but when I gaze at him
I see myself
and when I look at myself
I see him
I have not yet decided what my next read will be. I was considering some poetry by Fernando Pessoa because of this picture I took in Lisboa:
A tribute
As much as I love poetry, I prefer not to read two poetry books in a row.
Lastly, a museum exhibit introduced me to the Proust questionaire in which its theme was “Tell me what you like, and I’ll tell you who you are”. In the late 1800s, this type of questionaire was popularly used for fun and Proust believed that it provided a way to know someone’s true nature. Additionally, it can give some insight as to what common values we have with others. I quickly completed the Proust questionaire, with the first answer that comes to my mind. Try it yourself and / or share it with others on your blog.
- What is your idea of happiness? Love
- Where would you most like to live? I’m still looking for my true home.
- What is your favorite virtue? I admire people who are patient. I blame my impatience from the red highlights in my hair I inherited from my grandmother.
- What are your favorite qualities in a man? One who reads books.
- What are your favorite qualities in a woman? One who laughs
- What do you most value in your friends? Laughter
- What is your biggest weakness? Love
- What do you enjoy doing most? Listening to music
- What is your most marked characteristic? Multi-tasking
- What is your idea of misery? Living somewhere with no culture. For example, I could never live in a shopping mall.
- If not yourself, who would you like to be? Myself, because I am the only one who fully understands how to be me and I only know how to be myself.
- What is your favorite color and flower? Pink tulips
- What is your favorite bird? A swan – because they are born as ugly ducklings and well…you know the story.
- Who are your favorite writers? J. Saramago, Milan Kundera
- Who are your favorite poets? Pablo Neruda
- Who are your favorite musicians? Too difficult to answer – I listen to a lot of varieties.
- Who are your favorite artists? Caravaggio
- Who are your favorite heroes and heroines in fiction? Haven’t found any.
- Who are your favorite heroes and heroines in your life? Mi abuela materna
- Who are your favorite heroes and heroines in history? Pablo Neruda, Che Guevera, Ghandi (after reading his autobiography)
- What is your favorite food and drink? An almond croissant and strong Vietnamese iced coffee (A pity I can’t find both at the same place)
- What are your favorite names? Male: Alexand (my little brother’s name) and Female: Celestina (a character in a book by Fernando de Rojas)
- What do you most dislike? Unequal love
- Which historical figures do you most dislike? Franco, Hitler
- What event in history do you most admire? The events shown in the movie by Oliver Stone “South of the Border” .
- What social movement do you most admire? See above
- What natural gift would you most like to possess? Patience
- How would you like to die? In love
- What is your present state of mind? Sick because I’ve been running in the rain lately.
- What is your biggest pet peeve? Narcissism
- Which fault in others do you most easily tolerate? It still bothers me, but I can now tolerate being judged by how I look.
- Which fault in yourself do you most easily tolerate? I don’t know how to ask for help.
- What is your motto? Actions speak louder than words.
I always look forward to your posts, they are filled with meaning. I love this one; wonderfully written and the photos are beautiful and colorful.
Thank you for reading! Rumi is talented in conveying strong messages through short phrases…and I found it nice that his rubais written hundreds of years ago can still be inspiring today. Additionally, such inspirational themes are enjoyed by many others, which goes to show what human characteristics we share despite differences in religion, language, upbringing, etc.
Lovely city, Lisbon, and sweet too! 🙂
Fernando Pessoa is really a nice choice.
Yes, I learnt of Pessoa first by reading Pablo Neruda. But then I came upon the Pessoa statue I became more inspired to read his poetry. I will save his poetry for another time because I also am craving to read a good fiction story.
don’t avoid love out of fear that you may die
die into love so that you may stay alive
Loved the Rumi, as well as the photos. I especially liked the first photo of the statue on the roof so near the sky. I like the way it is cropped, it seems to refocus the perspective so that you are not looking from your own eyes up to a vision of the sky, but from another set of inward eyes towards the view of below being taken in by the figure with the out stretched arms. Somehow you see the image below, even though you are looking upwards towards the sky. Interesting.
Wow! Great comment and thank you for introducing me to another perspective of looking at the photo!
Simply Awesome!
beautiful shots and poetry!
I’ve read and seen a lot regarding Portugal, and it’s definitely on my list of countries to visit someday. Do we really need a questionnaire to tell us who we are?!
Going to Portugal for the first time was a nice experience, especially because I was told negative things about Portugal several times by a close friend of mine. As for the Proust questionaire, I feel the same thought about “self-discovery” through such questions. When I came up with a “rough draft” in my head of what I wanted in this blog post, my intention of placing the the Proust questionaire was not for self-discovery. I believe I mistakenly wrote a poor explanation because my head was already in holiday mode (for May 1st), I will edit that part of my post.
I believe you don’t have to, it’s your post and you can write and do whatever you want with it
Nice post as always. Especially good to see a Kurt V quote – did you know (I didn’t – I just saw it on wikipedia) he graded his all his previously published work in one of his books? I love that!
Player Piano: B
The Sirens of Titan: A
Mother Night: A
Cat’s Cradle: A-plus
God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater: A
Slaughterhouse-Five: A-plus
Welcome to the Monkey House: B-minus
Happy Birthday, Wanda June: D
Breakfast of Champions: C
Slapstick: D
Jailbird: A
Palm Sunday: C
If you haven’t read his two A-plus recommendations do, they are both great.
Thanks for that tidbit of information! As the saying goes: “We are our hardest critics”. Looks like I’ll have to add “Cat’s Cradle” to my books-to-read list.
My pleasure 🙂 and most importantly ‘Slaughterhouse Five’ (if you haven’t read it already)
heh heh, of course I did…it seems to be his most popular work! =)
There were many times that I’ve felt that I don’t belong and I really feel bad during those moments. You are right, as Einstein has pointed out. Humans are social creatures by nature and we can’t live off alone.
The photos you’ve taken from Portugal are wonderful. I wish I could go there too. When I think of places that are full of love, I think of Paris, Italy, Spain and Portugal. I don’t know why but I feel that those places show or make you feel the existence of love. 🙂
Yes, I feel the same way. It seems that the countries in EU associated more often with love are those located in the South. Not only a romantic love, but also a general love of life. Obviously, I have a preference to stay towards the southern parts of Europe.
I love the Proust questionnaire! I’m doing it now 🙂
Yes, it’s a cute little survey to make you think about what you like, etc =)
Lovely post
I enjoyed this post. A sensitive person will always learn from travel, because it confronts us with a mix of familiar and unfamiliar, and reveals truth, especially via surpising departures from expectations and preconceived ideas. Excellent photos, too.
Many thanks! Yes, travel is disconcerting in a good way in which it teaches us certain things in our society, about what differences and what we have in common with others that live away in large distances from ourselves.
Disconnection; separation; isolation. Philosophers such as Plato and Jung suggested that the soul’s tendency for unification (with God, other people) is human’s strongest drive and desire, and that unity also is the soul’s natural state. Thanks for sharing and giving a little of that taste of unity via your post.
Thank you for visiting! Yes, it is evident that humans strive to connect with someone whether it be a quick conversation at the market, through social media, etc. Which establishment of unification is the most satisfying for a person? Well, that is another big subject.
It is too long since I read Rumi. Thankyou for the reminder of his wisdom. Great photos too.
Your welcome! It was a long time since I read some of Rumi’s work as well…his work is timeless.
I love the Proust questionnaire and the beautiful pictures. I think I need a trip to Portugal- Thank you!
Stunning photos that transport the reader to a beautiful place where one can feel truly himself/herself. Heart-felt and moving words…just amazing. Thanks. Have a great weekend.
Many thanks…luckily, there are so many beautiful places in the world to inspire getting “back aligned” with ones life =)
beautiful pictures and great blog posts. i especially like the Proust questionaire. what a great read and getting to know you. 🙂
Thank you for reading =)
Tons of food for thought here… I love the photos and poem you included. 🙂
Finally got time to reply… wow… indepth stuff here and like the previous comment, tons of food for thought. The word love itself has often bugged me… from chaotic childhood, to relationships and marriage. So much weight is put onto this four letter word when in truth no word, or one word in particular can truly describe the complexity of our feelings and motives. I’ve come to replace the word ‘love’ with ‘harmony’, as this better represents the free-flowing actions and feelings when in connection with another. I seldom say to my wife ‘I love you’, but I often or not say that ‘I am in harmony with you’. For us this adds layers to our emotions and thoughts.
What a beautiful alternative to “I love you” … and very true! I also enjoy how being in love is when words do not be said, but a glance or a certain touch can send the signals of harmony with each other.
Oh yes, most definitely. Human’s are gifted with the ability to communicate not only be speech, but by body language, gestures and the actions we do each day.
Very well written and personal post, it swept me along all the way to the end. It’s good practice to thoroughly question yourself from time to time. Keeps you fresh.
Good to see Vonnegut being mentioned these days. One of my favorites. Also, love the statue of Pessoa. My wife may have to bury me that way!
I don’t like malls too. Great post filled life changing thoughts. I agree, whether we acknowledge it or not, every now we feel disconnected in ourselves and/or the world. This is the time we need to step back, gather our thoughts, travel. Looks like you found the keys to reconnect, and they’re beautiful. Amazing images. Best wishes….
I absolutely love this post! … the photos, the quotes, your words! Thank you for “connecting” and sharing 🙂
Thank you for visiting Ann!
Fantastic post, on several fronts.
Firstly, the prose, most parts of which I found myself in agreement with.
Secondly, the pictures. Wonderful. Mesh in well with the overall flow. Glad that you had a wonderful time!
Thirdly, delighted to see the word ‘dervishes’. One doesn’t see that often these days.
While love and companionship are wonderful emotions to experience, peace in solitude is a rare state. Happiness is there for the taking in that state too. Unfortunately, social animals that we are, solitude is sometimes equated with adjectives of the negative kind (loneliness, snobbery). Ultimately, to me, being peacefully happy with myself and my surroundings is paramount. If solitude offers me that, it is a proposition I welcome!
Enjoyed the read, Ye!-who-cannot-write! 🙂
I always relish your lyrical words…whether it be on your blog or mine! Enjoying one’s solitude, or rather one’s own company is important if others are to enjoy your company.
Beautiful and touching. The pictures were nice and bright – I like that.
Happy to brighten your day =)
Really inspiring words from great people 🙂
Wow – answering these is an excercise in self-reflection…just the questions themselves are great.
It’s was a bit of fun to do … especially on a Sunday when you are lazy enough to just think.
Wow!! beautiful..
Yes, Rumi’s writings are always a pleasure for the mind to contemplate!
well said…and the pics r so beautiful!! 🙂
Vietnam never tasted this good. We should go there!
Vietnam = YUM!
ahw you’ve already been there, that’s unfair! hahaha. I should take notes of these dishes!
but still doesnt change a thing, still a 6million to 1 odds of finding my real reason for going there. hahaha